I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
