i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize