i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize