I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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