Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize