I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
