i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
