come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
