Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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