something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
