True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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