it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
