butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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