i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
