And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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