Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
my poor anus
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
