You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
