just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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