I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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