you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
