what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
