Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
