I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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