Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
