I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
