Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What a dumb baby whore.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
