babies were throwing up all over the place
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
