dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
