Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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