If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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