my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
