Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
