I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize