I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
