I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
