the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
