I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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