He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
