dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
