She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's blow job season.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
