I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
