He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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