Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
