I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
