I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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