Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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