i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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