Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
