So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
