Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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