is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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