ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
