Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
