420 ftw
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
