I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
