come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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