Need sex. Gaining weight.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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