literally had 100 drinks last night.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
