He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
