you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
