brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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