Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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